Yesterday, Thursday August 6, 2009 - a date which will live in infamy – the United States of Tweets was suddenly and deliberately attacked by distributed denial of service attacks of the Empire of Who The Hell Knows.
The Fairyland of Tweetdom was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Forces Unknown, was still tweeting with the Empire and its emperor looking towards the maintenance of endless blabbering about navel fluff in the Twittersphere.
Indeed, one hour after the Evil Empire had uploaded the DDoS in NTT America Advanced Hosting, the load balancer farms were still stable and celebrities were able to describe what they ate for breakfast without interruption.
Yesterday, Twitter was bombed.
Yesterday, Facebook was bombed.
Yesterday, LiveJournal was bombed.
The Empire has, therefore, taken a surprise offensive extending throughout the social communities. The facts of yesterday speak for themselves.
As commander in chief of the Legions of Twitterers, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense.
Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us.
No matter how long it may take to overcome this premeditated invasion, the Tweetledoos in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.
With confidence in our routers – with the unbounded determination of our load balancers – we will gain the inevitable triumph, so help us God.
I ask that the Registrar declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by He Who Cannot Be Mentioned on August 6, 2009, a state of War has existed between the United States of Tweets and the Unknown Empire.
Frank Dee
TweetMasterFunk
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